Bump It

The bump continues to make itself known and as I’m sure most first-timers would agree, it’s a bit surreal. Whenever I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I stop and look because it’s just so weird! It’s also kind of cool. Showing outward signs of all the internal chaos is definitely a perk. Not so sure I’ll agree with that a few more months down the road, but for now I’m enjoying it.

To me, my belly bulge seems quite pronounced, maybe even more than it should be at this point. Of course, I had some padding there to start off with and Lord knows there weren’t any abdominal muscles there to hold it all in. But I do wonder how I look to others; is it obvious that I am expecting or are there some silent concerns floating around about my McDonald’s intake? I’m still at the point where most socially-adept people wouldn’t dare comment if they don’t already know the truth. While that is probably best, I was still strangely disappointed when no one at my workshop earlier this week even asked.

Well, then came Wednesday. I work for a healthcare company and we have Medical Directors on staff. One of these was at the workshop and finally asked me how far along I was. Before I could answer, he guessed. He surmised I was around 25 weeks. I’m just shy of 16 weeks. Ouch. I wanted to write it off to the fact that maybe he had another specialty and wasn’t that familiar with pregnancy, but turns out he was in family medicine/OB. Double ouch. So, maybe my belly is out as much as it feels. Y’all take heed of my prediction that I’m headed toward Jessica Simpson proportions. After all, J was a 9 pound something baby. If that’s the case here, pray for me.

I’m not sweating it too much for now. I’m not ravenous and stuffing my face all the time (except with pizza. I am OBSESSED with pizza) so I’m not all that worried what the scale will read at my appointment next week. In fact, it will be a good thing if I have finally gained some weight.

I AM, however, worried that J and I will never agree on what to name the poor child. Thankfully, we have plenty of time to work that out, but now some of the ones I thought we had jointly put on the early list have been revoked. And we’re both stubborn … in case you didn’t already know that. Could be a long trip to November for more than one reason!

Crossing to the Sunny Side of the Street

Confession time: I had written a post last week bemoaning more of my pregnancy pains (literally and figuratively), but an unrelated email exchange I had with someone whose perspective I appreciate made me delete it. While I think there is no harm in being honest about not loving being pregnant so far, I absolutely need to look at it in a more positive light – I’m making a human being for goodness sake; who expects that to be easy?

So, with that change in attitude as well as the fact that I truly am feeling better, I aim to look on the bright side from here on out. I know that doesn’t mean everything will be peachy keen but it also doesn’t mean I have to whine about every little discomfort (and we all know I’m a whiner).

Here are the coolest things happening right now:

• My belly is starting to poke out and maternity wear is becoming more necessary.
• Only 6 more weeks until we know if it’s a boy or a girl - start placing your bets.
• J and I decided on nursery furniture this weekend. 
• I’m finding myself less overwhelmed and more excited when looking at gear.  
• Pizza.

Also, an update on our 4-legged baby. Something is up with Savannah. We’re not sure if she’s still in a little discomfort from her knee surgeries or if she senses things are changing but she’s been sad lately. When she’s sad, we’re sad. Hopefully a weekend at the lake and swimming in a few weeks will cheer her up. Poor puppy.

p.s. - This photo was taken on April 28. Belly has since popped out further.

First is the Worst, Second is the Best?

Twelve weeks and 3 days people, meaning just a week and a half until I enter my second trimester, this mysterious, yet seemingly wonderful land where people promise I’ll start to feel more like myself again. Let me state for the record that if I am one of those gals who doesn’t fit into the category of “most women” and the nausea doesn’t subside soon, I may lose my mind.

The last week has been rough; my appetite was completely non-existent and the little food I could eat didn't always remain with me. This was evident in our 12 week appointment yesterday when I stepped on the scale and saw I’d lost 5 pounds in 3 weeks, equaling a total of 7 for the pregnancy so far. Unfortunately, J was standing right there when the nurse called out my weight. That is a truth I have tried to shield him from for a while. Sigh. It led to an awesome conversation while waiting for the doctor about how much I should aim on losing after the baby.

J was also present for his first breast exam. J: “Why was she massaging your boobs?” Me: “Um…she wasn't massaging exactly, she was feeling for lumps.” J: “Oh. Looked like massaging to me.” After just a couple of brief experiences in the OB/GYN world, I know J can concretely say he is happy to be a man.

We also had the ultrasound screening for Down Syndrome. This was cool because we got another look at our little guy/girl, who had a little hand raised up! So strange to see a tiny human forming and know it was inside me. We also got to hear the heartbeat J. The technician did some measurements, which all looked good but we have to wait to get the results back from this week and 16-week bloodwork to have a more accurate picture of whether the baby is at risk. Keep those prayers coming!

I am still convinced our tiny human is a girl, so you may find me referring to it as her or she. Of course, I won’t care either way but it’s just a feeling I have. We will find out toward the end of June, which seems like far away even though it’s only about 8 weeks. I already feel like I have been pregnant forever and am excited to start showing a little bit and start taking advantage of cute maternity wear.

My request this week is for you to please, please send good vibes my way that I truly start feeling better soon. I want to begin enjoying this pregnancy!

Surprise!

The day I took the pregnancy test, I was strangely calm. I had not experienced any early signs of pregnancy other than being just a couple of days late, which was not an anomaly for me. In the past, I had taken tests three or four days prior to getting my period, having convinced myself that the fatigue or slight nausea I felt were sure indicators. But not this time. In fact, I very patiently waited for my husband to come home from his business trip at 10 p.m. that night to take the test. I didn’t waste too much time once he stepped foot in the door, but that was mainly because I really had to pee.

I fully expected the little window to read “NOT PREGNANT”, like the times before so when I only saw one of those words (the important one), it took my breath away for just a moment … but only a moment before I rushed into the bedroom with an OMG, showing J the test. His reaction was a little anticlimactic, a very casual, “That’s good,” as he went along unpacking his bag. I even had to ask him to stop and give me a hug! Hey, we all handle stuff in our own way. My way was being unable to sleep that night.

Since that surprise, there have surely been a few more. Most of them have been centered on how crummy I have felt. A lazy person by nature, my energy level has dipped deep into negative territory. I’m exhausted all day and then sleep poorly at night, a trend that has led me to taking naps in my car during lunch on more than one occasion. Weekends are mostly spent in bed, and not in that fun, sexy way. They consist of me snoring the day away, trying to catch up from the week while J does the laundry so it doesn't pile up to the height of Mt. Everest.  God love him.

The biggie is the nausea and overall poor relationship with food. I haven’t spent the entire trimester over the toilet, but certainly feeling the need to have a trash can near me just in case. And while I definitely get hungry, the moment the food is in front of me (no matter what it is), I find it difficult to take more than a few bites. At our 9-week appointment, I had lost a couple of pounds. Our 12-week visit is next week and I won’t be surprised if I have lost a couple more. My inherent sweet tooth has taken a leave of absence and salty foods (as well as anything icy, like frozen lemonade or an Icee) are easiest for me to stomach.

Another surprise: Being overwhelmed rather than thrilled by all the baby stuff we’ll need. I have looked through catalogs and walked through aisles at Babies R Us and rather than a sense of excitement, like I thought I would feel, I have quickly deemed it too early or too exhausting to seriously think about. I’m really hoping that will change as I start to feel a bit better.

I know we’re in for a lot more surprises, during the pregnancy and certainly as parents, but right now, the furthest thought I can deal with is how long I have to wait until I can crawl back into bed.

For the love of ...

Savannah.

This past weekend we went camping with our friends Bryan and Erica. We specifically chose a site right on Lake Allatoona so our doggies could play in the water. So, Saturday morning after breakfast J and I took Savannah down to the shore. She happily ran in and out of the lake for a few minutes as we worked our way around the little cove. Puppy bliss!

The lake is low so the shore was made up of the rocky, muddy lake bottom. As Savannah ran out of the lake she let out a pitiful yelp and kind of hopped back into the water. She immediately came out and over to me and Jarrett, holding up her back right paw. We thought she just stepped on a sharp rock or something but she wouldn’t put her paw back down. We decided playtime was over, J picked up the wet pup and carried her back to the site.

We examined her paw and leg and didn’t see any visible damage like a cut or something stuck but she was definitely in pain and refusing to use that paw. We held and/or carried her around the campsite the remainder of the day – propping her up on a cot in the tent to rest for most of it. She was sad and snuggly. We were concerned and did our best to keep her immobile. Sad puppy = sad puppy parents.

Sunday morning came and there was no improvement. We headed home from camping and kept her on bed rest for the day but at this point we knew we’d be heading to the vet on Monday.

J was at the vet first thing Monday without an appointment but the doctor saw him. He called me at work and informed me that while she had not broken her ankle or toe (some of our theories), she had completely torn the cruciate ligament in her knee (ACL on a human, CCL on a dog). The vet said we could try and manage it with rest and let scar tissue form on our own or get the $2600 surgery. Oy.

Over the last few days, we have gone back and forth over what to do. Of course, we want what is best for Savannah, but we have some financial considerations as well. If you know me, you know I was all over the internet gathering research. We read success stories for both methods, but the more I read, the more I was convinced she needed the surgery. All the evidence for a dog her size with a complete tear pointed that way. I spoke to a coworker whose dog had the same thing and he gave me the name of the hospital they used and liked.

We have a consultation with the doctor on Tuesday. We know he’ll recommend the surgery (which turns out to be more like $3800 if you include all the follow-ups, etc.). J remains a bit cynical that vets always suggest surgery because that’s how they get paid. I see his point, but I read articles from vets and owners alike that pretty much said this was our best choice. I’ll have a ton of questions because I have also read about all the possible complications.

Luckily, the hospital takes a special credit card that you can apply for to help pay for things like this. We were approved for a big chunk of the cost, which we can pay off without interest for up to 24 months. Still, it’s one of those unforeseen expenses that makes you cringe. But we love our Savannah and want her to be healthy and happy.

The recovery won’t be any fun either – about 12 weeks total – with the first few requiring very little movement on her part and definitely no stairs. Um, have you seen our house? THREE LEVELS! So far J has been carrying her up and down. I tried once and well, we took a tumble. Not sure what we’ll do when he has to travel for work in a couple of weeks. Anyone want to take in me and my injured pup for a few days? Now accepting applications.  :)

Not tonight, dear

I haven’t posted on our baby-making quest lately so I thought I would provide an update on how it’s going. Basically, it’s not, at least for the time being. While the doctor gave us an all clear to try on our own during the time we’re working to get my insulin numbers down, it just hasn’t worked out that way.

As expected, there is a certain level of stress that comes with feeling like you have to do the deed on prescribed days and times. While we both know there are certain things that need to happen in order to conceive, the timing has just been … off. For the past two months I've either been sick to my stomach, cranky, bloated and/or J has been exhausted, traveling or injured and we would both rather stick hot pokers into our eyes than force intimacy. It’s a mutual feeling of frustration because ideally we want to conceive child under sweet, loving circumstances and not just getting the job done. I know we are not alone in this struggle  but it's annoying nonetheless.

So, August and September were duds and there is no one to blame but ourselves. On the bright side, I continue to lose weight (well, depending on the week!) and spend time at the gym. The diet is still the hardest part and I have not been as faithful to the right foods as I should be. Prime example: J having to physically take away the biscuit I nibbled on at Cracker Barrel AFTER I defiantly ordered both the grits AND the hash brown casserole despite him alerting me to how many carbs I was ingesting at one sitting. I justified it to myself as a reward for biking for 45 minutes earlier that morning, but I know that doesn’t stop those delicious starches from becoming evil sugars. I would live on carbs if I had the chance – how sad is it they are my number one enemy? It makes me want to cry.

All that being said, we’ll see what October holds in store!

Big Time

I have been slightly giddy since about 3 p.m. yesterday when I learned that an article I had written was picked up by The Huffington Post. For a writer trying to build freelance credibility, showing up on a national forum like this is a pretty big deal. Here’s a little background:

I recently got in touch with a former coworker who is the managing editor for a new young, professional women’s website, The Daily Muse. They were soliciting articles and since I don’t have the opportunity to write much in my actual job, getting to flex my skills is something I welcome.

The first piece I pitched was on something I know all too well: lessons from being a job hopper. As most of you know, I’ve had more than my fair share of jobs over the years. Yes, the reasons may be valid, but I’m not unaware of how it comes off to hiring managers. However, I also think it’s not as bad as it would have been even 10 years ago. Plus, I have learned a lot and I figured there were others out there, especially young women just starting off in their careers, who could benefit from what I now know.

The article was posted on The Daily Muse site Wednesday, which was enough for me! But then yesterday I was informed by the editor that it was also posted on Huffington Post. The site also has a partnership Forbes and Business Insider. The Daily Muse sends them their articles and some get selected for syndication. Hooray! I’m not holding my breath, but if it were to show up on Forbes, I would die.

I’m already working on my next article for The Daily Muse and I’m excited to have an outlet to do what I love. If I can gain some additional exposure and help build my portfolio, then perhaps my dream of being an actual freelance writer isn’t as far off as it seems!