Monday, October 29, 2012
Last week I was 2cm and 70% effaced, so we’re at least moving in the right direction. If there hasn’t been much improvement come my appointment on Wednesday, I’ll be disappointed, even though I know it doesn’t predict anything. But again, for me, it’s all mental at this point.
I’d prefer to be one of those 10% whose water breaks so I have very clear marching orders to call the doctor and head to the hospital. Most women claim you know when you’re in actual labor, but there are also stories of women whose contractions weren’t the doubled-over-in-pain type and it was more about the consistency. I’d rather not worry about deciphering or timing contractions and just have something concrete clue me in (i.e., gush o’ fluid). We can deal with contractions once we get to the hospital and I’m all settled in. Yeah, that sounds good; let’s do that.
I’m starting to think about inducement. If needed, I have a scheduled appointment the day after my due date and I’m hoping we put something on the books for later in the week. I simply can’t imagine drawing this out any longer but I know they can wait as far as a full 1-2 weeks past your due date to induce. Lord, help me (and J, and anyone else who has to listen to me!) if that’s the case.
Tonight is a full moon and I know of one grandma-in-waiting who is betting on it. Regardless of whether it puts me into labor, I’m feeling funky if nothing else. I have experienced cramps/contractions/baby movements nearly non-stop and walking suddenly became more difficult than normal today. However, the famed eggplant parmesan at Scalini’s was a bust so I’m not feeling very superstitious.
Bottom line: everyone keeps reminding me Rosebud will come when she’s ready. Does my being ready count for anything anymore? I’m beginning to think not…and that it’s called parenthood. :)
Posted by Liz at 3:13 PM
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
I’ll admit to feeling sorry for myself this week. I think the emotional strain of J being gone for so many days in a row (9 of the last 10) is taking its toll. At home, no task comes with ease – going up and down the stairs to let the dog out multiple times a day, bending over to fill her food/water bowls and schlepping to the kitchen to fix a meal. I’m at the most uncomfortable phase in my pregnancy and no one has been around to take care of me. Poor, poor, pitiful me, I know; but I can’t help how I feel. That, combined with my overall state of being OVER IT has caused a handful crying jags over the past few days. However, this is the last time I can be selfish and insist on some intense TLC before becoming a mom so I also feel slightly justified in my pouting. My parents may be required to increase their length of stay once the baby is born whether they or J have agreed to it or not!
Tomorrow is yet another doctor’s appointment. Last week I was 1cm dilated and my cervix was beginning to thin (TMI? Sorry, this is a pregnancy blog, folks). We’ll see if there has been any change. My doctor did tell me that since this little girl isn’t so little, she would possibly do an ultrasound at this or the next appointment to get a better feel for her size. I would get a kick from seeing just how Rosebud’s crammed into this belly. I attempted to negotiate with her last night: if she would kindly oblige and let us meet her ASAP, she’d have a lot more room to move and stretch as well as be showered with lots of love, adoration and cuddles. That’s a pretty good deal, right?
J will be back tomorrow evening for the long haul so there will be no more reasons to stall. I’m just trying to take things day by day, but the thought of going all the way to my due date or beyond causes me great distress. Between the mounting anticipation and physical discomfort, I don’t know how I will survive with any sanity intact.
Posted by Liz at 3:26 PM
Friday, October 19, 2012
Hearing those numbers scares me a little, but since I already know I am having an epidural (hooray for drugs!), I am assuming I won't feel much of a difference no matter her size. The thing that makes me nervous is perhaps a greater possibility of a bad tear or even a c-section. Either way, I still just want her to be healthy. I will survive.
The best news of my appointment today was that I hadn't gained any more weight, which can be normal at this point. Those last couple of weigh-ins were a doozie; not just because the actual amount I gained in a short time seemed high, but the numbers on the scale went into digits I never, ever want to see again. I truly can't complain about my weight gain during this pregnancy - I have been lucky and can only hope that means it is a tad bit easier to lose.
I was also assured that feeling like I have been hit by a Mac truck is completely normal at this point. You know, can't sleep, every move is at least a little painful and requires great effort, that sort of thing. As I have said before, even more frustrating than the constant discomfort is the haunting uncertainty of what is to come and when.
J is back from Vancouver (yay!) but off to Orlando on Sunday. As of next Thursday he's home until at least after Thanksgiving so let's all plan on a Friday, Oct. 26 birth. Sound good?! Good. It's a date.
p.s. I had a dream last night that Rosebud actually came out a boy. I was freaking out because J and I couldn't agree on a name before we left the hospital! Did any of you mamas out there have a opposite sex name back up just in case?
Posted by Liz at 9:46 AM
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Anyway, back to the positive news: we now have all the essentials for surviving at least our first few weeks with our baby girl (or so we think)! We assembled the pack n’ play she’ll use to sleep in our room in the beginning. It’s actually a bit of a tight squeeze if I place it next to my side of the bed. Not sure that’s where it will stay. It would easily go at the end of the bed but that is directly under the fan, which we keep on religiously. Is that a bad idea even though we have really high ceilings? My gut says yes. Anyone else care to weigh in?
We also got the car seat. We’ll install it in my car this weekend and Jarrett will get the extra base in his so we can just pop her in and out. Speaking of cars, I managed to scrape up the side of the Murano against a concrete post in my work parking garage the other day. It’s not horrible, but it most likely won’t be a cheap fix. I’m so mad at myself, but J was pretty chill when I told him and I really appreciated that because I had already burst into tears when it happened.
Since we are well-prepared stuff-wise, I’m definitely ready for Rosebud to make her big debut. On Monday I’ll be 37 weeks and she’ll be full-term so I say bring it on. I did not have an exam at my last appointment to check for dilation. I learned that my doctor does that starting at 38 weeks. However, it won’t predict much of anything regardless of when she does one. You can be 3cm dilated (anxiously convinced you’re going to go at any time) for weeks or go from zero to go time in a matter of hours. I can accept that, but it doesn’t give me any ammunition to get J to stay home from either of his trips, especially next week's Monday-Thursday jaunt to Vancouver.
J being that far away is a worry I can't calm and unless I can fix that ASAP, I may jinx myself into labor while he’s gone just from fretting about it. I’m going to address his schedule at my doctor's appointment tomorrow but I know she can't predict if anything will happen next week; so unless I’m already in labor prior to his flight, he’s going to be on it. As much as I tell him just the possibility is enough reason to stay, I know he really wants to fulfill his work responsibilities while he can.
I, on the other hand, can't say the same. Well, just about the strategic planning meeting I have to attend next week. It will be three long days of presentations/discussion in a local hotel conference room followed by group dinners each night. I’m going to be uncomfortable and exhausted. I’m totally dreading it and if I could get a note from my doctor saying I shouldn't attend, I would do it in a heartbeat. Alas, unless I forge it, I'm stuck. Hmm...forging.... ;)
Posted by Liz at 3:45 PM
Monday, October 1, 2012
Since my last post I think I am a bit better at recognizing my contractions, which range from a tightening sensation to menstrual-like cramping. I generally have 2-3 every couple of hours and sometimes more if they are indeed what I think they are. They aren’t painful per say, but certainly cause some discomfort. Some things I read say to call your doctor if you have 4 or more in an hour but since I’m not always positive that’s what they are, I haven’t yet. Again, I’m walking that thin line between logic and paranoia. If I experience any other symptoms along with those maybe contractions, I will definitely call.
Rosebud’s movements feel like she’s trying to find her way out, even if that means punching through my stomach! J and I like to watch my belly jump with her powerful kicks and jabs but it’s still surreal to think it’s a tiny human who is doing all that. No doubt it will all become very REAL soon.
Aside from being zapped of all energy no matter how much I rest, my biggest obstacle now is walking (read: waddling). It feels like the baby may fall out and there is constant pain/pressure in my pelvic region when I’m standing. I know this is all normal, but it doesn’t make it any more pleasant.
I find myself having an influx of pregnancy/labor/delivery dreams lately. They are all quite vivid and just a little left of reality. For example, being in the hospital and freaking out because we didn’t have a car seat to bring her home in so I send J out to buy one and have the baby while he’s shopping…and oh yeah they deliver the baby one body part at a time and just assemble her afterward but it’s totally normal. Or, trying to disguise my pregnancy from others at my own baby shower because it was an accident or something and I’m embarrassed (a nod to being unable to wear my wedding rings on my swollen fingers?).
I imagine these types of dreams will continue because, you know, I’ve kind of got that stuff on my mind. It may very well be the ONLY thing on my mind though, because remembering things, like…oh yes, words...can be difficult. I stumble around a lot when I speak and often feel like I’m not making sense. My attempts to appear intelligent the days I’m in the office are pretty much in vain. However, at this point I finally feel unequivocally validated in blaming everything on being pregnant and am not afraid to play that card.
Posted by Liz at 3:04 PM