If it walks like a duck...

We’re at 35 (completed, wading into the 36th) weeks today, folks, and that means two things of interest: weekly doctor visits and they would not try to stop labor if it were to occur, according to my last appointment. I’m spending most of my days trying to quiet the (very loud) voice inside of me that is vying for this little one to come early (like, NOW) and let her continue to develop a little longer in the womb. I know that’s best in the long run and a full-term arrival wins in spite of me feeling completely over being pregnant and dealing with the plain ole’ anxiety of waiting for something I know is imminent.

Since my last post I think I am a bit better at recognizing my contractions, which range from a tightening sensation to menstrual-like cramping. I generally have 2-3 every couple of hours and sometimes more if they are indeed what I think they are. They aren’t painful per say, but certainly cause some discomfort. Some things I read say to call your doctor if you have 4 or more in an hour but since I’m not always positive that’s what they are, I haven’t yet. Again, I’m walking that thin line between logic and paranoia. If I experience any other symptoms along with those maybe contractions, I will definitely call.

Rosebud’s movements feel like she’s trying to find her way out, even if that means punching through my stomach! J and I like to watch my belly jump with her powerful kicks and jabs but it’s still surreal to think it’s a tiny human who is doing all that. No doubt it will all become very REAL soon.

Aside from being zapped of all energy no matter how much I rest, my biggest obstacle now is walking (read: waddling). It feels like the baby may fall out and there is constant pain/pressure in my pelvic region when I’m standing. I know this is all normal, but it doesn’t make it any more pleasant.

I find myself having an influx of pregnancy/labor/delivery dreams lately. They are all quite vivid and just a little left of reality. For example, being in the hospital and freaking out because we didn’t have a car seat to bring her home in so I send J out to buy one and have the baby while he’s shopping…and oh yeah they deliver the baby one body part at a time and just assemble her afterward but it’s totally normal. Or, trying to disguise my pregnancy from others at my own baby shower because it was an accident or something and I’m embarrassed (a nod to being unable to wear my wedding rings on my swollen fingers?).

I imagine these types of dreams will continue because, you know, I’ve kind of got that stuff on my mind. It may very well be the ONLY thing on my mind though, because remembering things, like…oh yes, words...can be difficult. I stumble around a lot when I speak and often feel like I’m not making sense. My attempts to appear intelligent the days I’m in the office are pretty much in vain. However, at this point I finally feel unequivocally validated in blaming everything on being pregnant and am not afraid to play that card.