The diet is actually going OK so far and I even went to spin class yesterday morning (boy is my butt sore). The main thing that is NOT going well? Being off my antidepressants. I have broken down three times in the last week over the smallest things. I don't have an ounce of control over my feelings ... hence bursting into tears at Whole Foods last night when I realized I had picked up wasabi instead of soy sauce (although, there is a much longer story as to why we got stuck getting dinner at Whole Foods when we had already been at a restaurant for nearly an hour) and verbally abusing the idiot woman who pushed me into the sushi display, causing me to stub my toe (which made a loud CRACK is now all swollen, bruised and taped up so I can walk).
I don't like this version of myself and I know J's not a fan either. After several failed attempts of coming off my meds, it's pretty clear I'm just one of those people who need it in order to maintain a balanced life and an iota of sanity. Not sure what the next move is, especially since there is more and more data to prove that being on antidepressants while pregnant can be harmful to the fetus, but I can honestly say that it's more important for me to be on an even keel than it is to be pregnant. I am positive that being off the medication AND dealing with the added pregnancy hormones would lead to very bad things. If that means I need to forfeit becoming a mother in order to keep both myself and the baby safe, then that's something with which I need to come to terms.
I don't know ... I need to talk to the doctor about all this.